Our three biological daughters once named themselves the Originals after EK was home from China. Yesterday our family celebrated the middle original’s 24th birthday. Time has passed so quickly since the day I held her in my arms for the first time. She weighed 7 pounds and had a head full of black hair. Her face was splotchy, and she was irresistibly beautiful. We couldn’t take our eyes off her.
Not long after, my parents brought our oldest daughter to meet her new sister. It is a precious memory seared on my heart. Two little girls chosen from conception meeting for the first time and guaranteed a lifetime with each other. They had the promise of two parents raising them in love, security, and peace.
Our three Originals are amazing girls, and they have been one of the greatest reasons our adoptions have been so beautiful. We couldn’t have managed this calling so well without their support. They have each blessed our littles in giving away attention, time, money, and love that would have been for them only.
4 Things our Originals Sacrificed for their Adopted Siblings
For 10 years our oldest girls received our undivided attention. They went to school, were involved in many extracurricular activities, and we followed them around continuously. They were the center of our attention. This was a great thing because once we headed toward adoption, they were secure in the love we had for them. Kids today think they are Entitled to everything parents can provide. Adoption surely gave our girls a new view of the world and their role in it. It wasn’t just about them anymore. There were children around the world suffering because they had no family. They had siblings suffering and waiting for us.
Time was something our older girls never gave a thought to. We were always where they were, or we were home hanging out as a family. Scott and I both worked but made evenings and weekends about our girls. When we decided to adopt, much time was spent preparing for the adoption, and then there was the TRIP to adopt. The first time, we felt strongly we should take the girls with us. OH were we right! It was life changing for them. They were able to see the poverty of people less fortunate than them. You can talk about it until you are blue in face, but it will never change hearts like seeing it. Once home, our time was consumed with helping our newest bond and attach to our family. It was beautiful to watch the older girls give their time to this little soul who would now know the things they were given through birth.
Money is the number one reason most families choose not to adopt. They can’t see past this huge hurdle. It takes a scary step of faith to believe God will provide everything needed to get this new child home. It is also a sacrifice for the children already home but so necessary. Our big girls never went without things they needed and had most of what they wanted. They began to realize they didn’t need everything everyone around them had. First of all, we couldn’t afford it, but mostly because they didn’t need it. They had a front row seat to watch God provide for their needs as well a new sibling who now had the promise of security too.
I remember Scott wondering if he could love an adopted child as much as he did his biological child. The moment EK was placed in our arms, we knew for sure we could love, and did love, and would always love her. We have birthed, and we have adopted, and we are here to say… There is NO difference in the love we have for all our children. They were all chosen for our family, and we couldn’t imagine life without a single one. There is more than enough love to go around. It multiplies daily in Jesus. Adoption gave our big girls more to love than themselves. They fell in love with a little girl halfway around the world and pulled her into their lives wholeheartedly. That is a picture of the gospel.
The day I held our middle original in my arms stroking her head of black hair is the same love I had the day EK was place in my arms and I stroked her black head of hair. I can’t explain it other than to say, it was ALL God.
He provides all that you need for all the ones He gives you: Attention, Time, Money, and Love.
“Whatever I am now it is all because God poured out such kindness and grace upon me.” (1 Corinthians 15:10a TLB)